Tuesday, January 22, 2013

What a Crumby Thing ... or How to Shrink-Wrap Your Table

So, I just have to brag for a moment. I found one of the best deals of a lifetime on a classifieds site (not belonging to Craig somethingorother). I needed a table. Desperately. And I'm a cheapskate - I think I've mentioned this before. So, while I had dreams of gorgeous tables dancing about in my head - well, they were probably sitting still in a dining room area, because let's face it, tables don't dance. Which is a good thing because imagine the mess ... I digress. I needed a table and knew I wanted a lovely black thing. I really liked the square shape - even though it made no logical sense for the space in my home. I didn't want it too tall, because I'm short. My husband is short. And our kids are short. And I really hated visiting friends and eating at their tall tables, swinging my feet and feeling like Lily Tomlin's character Edith Ann.  And it needed an extension because we entertain guests often (Oh, who am I kidding, we invite family over for kid birthday cake).

So, I was on the prowl for a cheap, beautiful table. For a while. A long while. And while on the lookout, I was also looking for other pieces of furniture. Some nice end tables. That had an open shelf space, 2 drawers, nice to look at. And I found some on the non-craig'd list. Not perfect, mind you, but close enough that I might be able to adjust them into being what I want. So I raced over to the owner's place to wheel and deal. Unfortunately, I arrived about 10 minutes too late (easy to do when you have a little kid who doesn't yet grasp the concept of "Hurry! Mommy really wants those end tables!") and watched as a woman loaded them up into her truck. I dejectedly turned back to my car, shoulders probably visibly slumped, when the owner asked me what I was there for.

I put on a good face and laughed good-naturedly, "Those," and I pointed to the lucky woman driving away. I could tell he felt bad, so I shrugged it off (it wasn't really the end of the world). His mother came out and asked if there was anything else I was in need of, as they were clearing out some of his things. I decided to throw it out there that I was looking for a table and she smiled! She showed me a beautiful black table (rectangle) with an extension leaf (which made it square) and 4 chairs. I gasped (apparently I'm not as good at wheeling and dealing as others are) and asked what they were asking. Her son shrugged his shoulders and said "$150."  I said "Are you sure!" (again, why would I even ask that? take it and run! take it and run!) and he said, "yup!"  So I grabbed half the table and two chairs and put them in the back of my pilot (I couldn't fit it all and needed to ensure that it wasn't sold out from under me!) and raced home, then doubled back and got the rest. I cheered the whole way! And crowed about the steal deal for the next, well - I'm still crowing about it!

So, what does this have to do with anything? Well, here's the rub. The table is lovely. It has these intricate carved lines down it that just give it such dimension.

 Isn't it lovely? Don't you wish you had this table?


And apparently, when you are messy eaters like we are, that dimension fills up with crumbs, jam, cake bits, sand, etc.  And when others come over and sit down at your table, they inwardly shudder and keep their hands away from the festering rows of nastiness. What to do!


See that pretty carved line? All up and down the table? All "distressed" and everything? No, I'm not going to show you the nastiness. But imagine how easily that gets filled with all sorts of tiny bits of yuck.


I tried to scrub it consistently, but it turns out I really hate to clean and we really are messy eaters. Especially the hubs. I'd blame it all on the year-old, but I can't. I thought about filling in each of those line with epoxy, but I knew I wasn't careful enough and it would come out looking sloppy and worse. I thought about topping it with a Glass pane, but, well, we have a 2-year old. And we're all a little clumsy. So, I nixed that idea pretty quickly.

One day, I had a friend over, and she shuddered inwardly and I openly apologized for the nastiness of it all and she smiled nicely (I have nice friends) and managed to work it into the conversation that she had a friend who covered her table with laminate. I clapped and said, "Yes! We aren't the only messy people!" Oh, and I thought it was a great idea to cover it up. But I didn't want to lose the loveliness of it all. So, I tapped my inner early-50's-plastic-on-the-furniture and a project was born. I shrink-wrapped my table.

Now it's nice and easy to clean - an unfortunate reality for my 9-year old who has to wipe the table down every night-  and when we have guests I can take off the cover and it looks sparkling clean. At which they ooh and aah and wonder "How does she do it!"  Oh, and bonus ... it is supremely easy to wipe crayon off of vinyl. Yay!

So, why do you care that I shrink-wrapped my table? How many of you have those "tile-topped" tables and things get stuck in the grout? Or fancy wood work like mine? Or just want to see how a weirdo makes her home even more bizarre? Well, here you go!

First:
Measure your Table top. Add about 8 inches to the length and width of your table. Example: my tabletop is 40" x 60".  So I knew I needed a covering of at least 48" x 68" (I decided not to cover it with the extension because that is when we have guests over and I don't want them to know I shrink-wrap my table. Which, of course, they do now if they read this blog. Dangit). Oh, and I wasn't able to find any wider vinyl on a roll than 54", so if your table exceeds that in both length and width, sorry and good luck...

 Then go out and buy some things you'll need.

You're going to need clear vinyl. It's 54" wide and comes on a roll that you have the nice lady at the cutting table slice for you.  I was able to find mine at the craft section of my local SuperWalmart and at JoAnn's and at Hancock Fabrics, so you'll hopefully find it near you. It comes in a variety of thicknesses (even a word?) so pick which one feels right to you - not too thin that it'll rip, but not too thick that it won't fold nicely over the edges of your table. Oh, and if you play your cards right, you can find it on a roll that isn't really crinkly. And when they cut it, you can ask nicely if they'll roll it onto one of their old material tubes. I was told they just throw them away (which reminds me, I need to head up there for some craft ideas!).

You will also need sticky-backed velcro. You'll need enough to do at least 3 stickers on the narrow ends of the table and 4 on the long sides. So at least a total of 14. You can get them pre-cut in circles, squares, or on a long roll. It's your choice. I actually bought two different kinds for this. For the hook/plasticy-hard side (which will be adhered to the vinyl) I got as strong a sticker as possible, but for the soft side that will go on the bottom of the table I went with something that wasn't so sticky. Because eventually we will all be adults and not need this on the table. And if I can't remove the stickers, I'll be bugged.

And that's all you need.

Second:

Go home from the store and gear up to clean out the yuckyness. Clean out all of the carving lines. Really well. I dripped warm, sudsy water in each crevice, let it sit for a few minutes and then scrubbed with a toothbrush. I worked in sections down the table and after each section was done, I wiped it all out again with baby wipes (can I just say that I love these baby wipes from Costco ... I've bought them for years- even when I had no one in diapers. Love them. Not affiliated with them. Just love them!). Let it dry really really well.

Third:
Roll out your vinyl across the top of the table. Check out the bottom of the table and decide how far back you want to put your stickers (don't do that yet, just eyeball and estimate). My table has a decorative lower edge that sits in about 3 inches. I didn't want the sticker on the decorate edge, so I knew it needed to stay in front of that. But, I also have a very picky 2 year old. And by picky, I mean he picks at anything and everything.

Affix the soft side of the velcro (the "LOOP" part, not the "hook") to your table in the corners and middle length of the narrow ends of the table, and evenly spaced on the wider sides of the table.  Like the pic below, but save 4 of the velcro sets and put them aside for later.

Square up the vinyl with the table. You don't want to affix the velcro on an angle.  At the head of the table, fold the vinyl down and eyeball and stick the the HOOK side of the velcro.


 Do that for all three, then go to the other head of the table (or foot of the table, whatever you want to call it) and do the same, tugging the vinyl tight (but not too tight, don't stretch the vinyl) so the top is nice and smooth.

Align the LOOPS and HOOKs for the sides as well, pulling tight (but not too tight).  Now for the corners,

Grab the 4 velcro sets you put aside and affix an Hook on the folded over portion of the vinyl (while it is already "closed" to the head of the table) and then eyeball where to put the LOOP to fold it over and Voila!

Now, unhook all of them and trim away excess vinyl (because anything that hangs out is grabbable and little hands playing with the velcro tend to make the it less velcro-ey).



Close it back up and enjoy how clean it all looks!



Now, words of advice:
* Use Hot Pads! The warmth from a dish or a pot can warp the vinyl and you'll get weird bumps and pulls. Not pretty. Not at all pretty.

* Keep the tube your vinyl came rolled on, so when you take it off for company, you can just roll it back up. BUT before you do that, wipe it all down really well, because anything messy on the top will get rolled onto parts of the bottom vinyl (think about what happens when you roll), and when you unroll it back, the bottom part of your vinyl (that sits against the table) will be dirty and smudgy.  Not a major problem, but it adds another cleaning step.

*Also, it will start to look funky after awhile. The humidity will start to pull the vinyl toward the table and it will look splotchy. When that happens, just unhook it on 3 of the sides, lift up and lay back down on a newly-refreshed top. Easy-peasy!

I've loved this. It makes my life so much easier! My table is easily-cleaned, much to my 9-year-old's chagrin and my friends and family all think we are immaculate eaters! I love a good facade!

So, what will we do next? I don't know, so many choices. It's hard to pick something .... Wish me luck!

Monday, January 21, 2013

It's Alive!!

So, I'm back! Well, not back, because I'm not where I was when I started this blog, but I am "back" to purposeful blogging.  We managed our move across the country (whew!) and I've had a few months to acclimatize myself to the new surroundings and I am proud to say I no longer need a GPS device to get to the grocery store!

I have had a bunch of things I needed to do and make over the last few months, due to the fact we sold much of our belongings back in Utah so we wouldn't spend so much $$$ getting our stuff from point A to point B. Turns out we still have too much stuff, so it was a really good thing we got rid of the extra stuff or we would have been in serious trouble.

I also went on a Pinteresting Rampage. I warned you I would. Remember? Well, needless to say, I have so many ideas that I don't even know where to begin. Of course, the move across the country was not without a financial impact, so I'll be trying to do the cheap pins for now until we win the lottery - which would be doubly amazing because we don't actually play the lottery.

So, what have I done so far? Stay tuned! I'll show you what I remember to take pictures of!